I still get pain on a daily basis.
I still get anxiety about the future,
but I know now I can do this. Things are really tough,
but I will definitely be able to do it.
And that's the experience that I've
had from playing football. Football saved my life,
because if I didn't have football,
I would be a shell of myself.
I wouldn't have the independence I have.
I wouldn't live in the place I live now.
I was born with deformities to my right leg.
I didn't have really the option of being able to walk.
So the option was put forward to give me an amputation
to fit me with a prosthesis.
So that happened when I was one year old.
Growing up.
I had to learn a lot things that not many other kids have
to deal with and a lot of embarrassing
incidents as well. Like my leg fell off regularly.
I started off hiding my disability.
I wore trousers to school and I didn't tell anyone.
I ended up getting bullied because it was obviously
something that looked like I was ashamed of it.
I ended up with low self-esteem and anxiety,
really started taking over my life at that stage.
I ended up in a place where I didn't really like me,
and everyone around me said, Yeah, you're a good person.
But I didn't think that in the slightest.
That's still something I have to watch
for but it’s better now.
I use my left side to support me at all times.
That’s caused a lot of my back issues.
When you've got pain in your life,
you can either just ignore, ignore,
ignore or you can embrace what's going on and look
after yourself — figure out what's wrong.
Finding ways to embrace my disability because effectively
that's what was causing it was the way I was holding
myself and trying to fit into a world
that I wasn't quite made for. From that point.
That's when I started looking into disability sport.
I reached out and I found the charity “Finding your feet”,
which helps amputees. That was, yeah, that's where it all began.
Amputee football is played on crutches.
I don't use crutches very much,
so it was nice kind of trying out a sport which put
me out my comfort zone.
The amount of stuff you learn on that pitch,
it helped me manage my anxiety as well.
Being able to trust people properly and actually allow
people to support you it’s the biggest thing.
We've got regular training,
started really taking the sport more seriously,
and that was when I kind of realised, “No,
this is my place,
this is where I'm supposed to be.”
I've never felt so proud as the day I got
to play for my country.
It felt like everything had paid off for the year,
all the effort that I’d put in and it gave
me so much confidence.
And it still does instil a confidence
because I know if I put the effort and I'm just
as worthy as anyone else on that pitch to get
there and play a part.
I've developed arthritis in my left hip now.
So it means that I'm probably not going
to manage to play at the same level of football that I have.
So I need to find another role in the sport.
There's just no way in hell that I'm
stepping back from football.
I'm not losing disability sport for my life.
I'm doing it for no one apart from me.
I just want to make sure that I stay up and I look
after myself now. My life's really,
really good.
And I'm going to keep it that way.